Looking back to a year ago Midnight Madness 50 2011

It was just too hot out there!!!  It was a tough decision and today I'm suffering from the agony of defeat!    I had 7 minutes to get out for lap 5 of a 5 lap race when I got in from lap 4.  By the time I got cooled off and could think straight I was late to get out by 11 minutes.  Could I have gone?  should I have gone?  would I have been one of the runners hauled off in an ambulance?    At this point I don't know.  I'm praying for peace.  I'm going to do it next year.
Things I did right:
Night train, training to walk fast while very tired, well supplied drop bags, hydration, extra socks and shoes.
Things I need to add to my plan:
long sleeved clothing for when the sun comes out (even the toughest sunscreen isn't)   Daytime training in the very hottest part of the day.
7/21/2011
Looking back:
First I'm confused about my time:

9 Donnie Dempewolf     23 Kansas City     KS            11:19:01   1: 2:25:25 2:25:25
                                                                       2: 2:37:28 5:02:52
                                                                       3: 2:56:23 7:59:14
                                                                       4: 3:19:47 11:19:01
   10 Lisa Gunnoe          45 Judsonia        AR            11:43:14   1: 2:15:04 2:15:04
                                                                       2: 2:45:21 5:00:25
                                                                       3: 3:05:21 8:05:46
                                                                       4: 3:37:28 11:43:14

I came in from lap 4 about 20 minutes before the guy listed before me.  I know I did because I know who he is.  We talked and walked together then I passed him and kept on going.  I saw him come in after me.  My watch quit, so I'm just confused.
Confusion is the thing I have been focused on.  I read a race report written by a pacer.  He was pacing his wife, she was in trouble with kidney failure, but neither knew it.  She kept falling down and shouldn't have been.  It never occurred to either of them to have her pull up.
I told my husband I needed that from him.  when I text him, or saw him and told him I was done I needed him to tell me "no, get your ass back out there and finish".  He told me he would never be that person for me.  He would pick me up, put the pieces back together and drive me home, but he would never tell me to stay out there when I think I'm done.
I have to find a way to be what I need on my own.  I can't count on a pacer next time, though I do think I have one arraigned.
I'm upset because I still don't know if I finished that lap in time to go on, or if I missed the cut-off like I thought I did.
Nothing I can do from it now but learn from my mistakes and just keep moving forward.